There comes a time in any young person’s life when they crave companionship. This companionship is a God-given desire. Since this is a yearning from God, this companionship is intended to be long-lasting, too. That’s why it’s important to date with marriage in mind. Since this friendship is a God-given need, it’s only right and sensible to find out how to start and develop it, God’s way. 

Below, we’ll look at four “keys” to date God’s way. We begin with the basic idea of choosing the right person.

1. Choosing the Right Person

In Christian dating, the Bible is the first place to look at. This applies to choosing the person to date. So, what are some of the things that the Bible talks about regarding our dating relationships? 

Date a Believer

The Bible highlights the importance of marrying someone who shares the same faith as you. It’s inevitably essential to date, or ask out, someone who’s also a Christian. By Christian, we mean someone who lives the life of a Christian, as God outlines in the Bible. Such a person will be truthful and trustworthy. They’re more likely to be faithful, too. That individual will not, for instance, date you and another person. That person will date, and stay committed to, only you. 

Date Someone with the Same Vision

Tied to the idea of dating a believer is the need to date someone with the same vision. The Bible highlights that two people can’t walk together unless they agree with one another (Amos 3:3). So, the right person will have to have similarities with you, especially in the area of vision. By vision, we mean where you would like to be in the future. Although when you date a believer, you’re more likely to have similarities, including vision, because of the same biblical foundations you both have, it’s still vital to highlight your visions to each other. When you talk to each other about your vision while dating, you’ll realize where your destinies lie: where you both wish to be in the future. If they’re similar, it can strengthen the relationship. Having the same vision makes you more likely to enjoy dating and face less tension.

In addition to dating the right person, it’s critical to take additional steps once you start dating. 

2. Be Pure

This is, I believe, one of the most significant aspects of dating right. When you date, it’s important to set the stage right from the beginning. Determine to stay pure so that you’ll honor God, and God will, in turn, honor you and your relationship. You can start the relationship by letting the person know you want to stay pure, and you want the relationship to be pure. And you must strive to keep things pure. Staying pure is a concept that’s easier for the Christian to grasp. 

One of the practices that is culturally accepted and widespread, but biblically unacceptable, is cohabitation. The Bible says, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:1-3, ESV). Although culture may suggest otherwise, it’s never God’s will for dating couples to live together unless they are married. This is because of the many temptations, risks and spiritual dangers connected to cohabitation. The Bible puts it this way, “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:1-3, ESV). To keep your relationship pure, it’s best to follow God’s advice, avoid cohabitation and trust Him that living together will happen at the right time: after marriage, and with the right person.

3. Pray Together

Before you begin dating someone, pray about it. Let the Lord lead you on who you should be with, based on His Word. And when He leads you to that person, begin praying together as a couple while dating. This will help keep your bond stronger. It also helps the dating process to go smoothly. It will assist in keeping you both in the will of God for your lives. It will help even in terms of how you relate to each other. You’ll overcome challenges through prayer, too. By praying, you’re inviting God into your dating relationship and process, and letting Him lead you both, successfully, through the dating season. When you pray, your dating is sure to be successful. Prayer is key to sustaining the relationship. It’s also fundamental in helping keep yourself pure.

4. Give To Each Other

I’ve heard it said that when someone loves another, they give to them. It’s true. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, ESV). Looking to God as our example, we must give to show our love while we’re dating. Indeed, that’s also one of the ways you can gauge whether the person you’re dating loves you, in addition to how he or she treats you. Nonetheless, giving takes many forms. It can be in gift form, during a special occasion like Valentine’s Day. It can also come in the form of giving time and attention. Giving can be in the form of providing sound wisdom or helping to solve a challenging problem. Aside from gift-giving, these other forms of giving are valid ways to show (and receive) love while dating. 

Dating God’s way is one of the best decisions you can make. By choosing to date a fellow true Christian and ensuring you have the same vision as this individual, you set yourself up for successful dating and eventually, a long-lasting marriage. By being pure, you honor God, and He’s faithful to reward and honor you. By praying before and during dating, you position yourself to effectively choose the right person and overcome dating challenges. When dating, you must show love and one of the ways to do this is by giving to the person. 

With these four keys in hand, you are ready to start well on your dating journey, knowing that no matter how bumpy “the road” may get, you will eventually navigate it with the help of God to get to your dream destination, a place known as God’s happily ever after!