My heart is with you, and my heart is with your children. Most likely, I’m feeling what you’re feeling. I have thoughts that maybe you resonate with—thoughts like: “This is so unfair for my children. How am I supposed to teach, entertain and work? Why does it seem like they need a snack every five minutes? These are just a few of the many overwhelming thoughts and unanswered questions. Parenting is hard enough without a quarantine, the COVID-19 pandemic and uncertainty of the future! (Side note: It is perfectly fine to acknowledge that parenting is difficult).

1. Cry Out to God

A verse that has continually been on my mind comes from Mark 9:24 (NIV), “Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’” With so many uncertainties, I have found it’s most helpful to focus on what I know for certain. With so many doubts that overcome us, what we know for sure is this: God is faithful and God keeps His promises. God already knows the outcome. God loves us. It’s okay to have doubts, questions and uncertainties; they come with this life of faith. What’s not okay is to keep these doubts, questions and uncertainties hidden, failing to bring them to the Lord. Do not allow the uncertainty of these circumstances weaken your faithfulness to God. Maybe you need to yell out to God, “Help me overcome my unbelief!” Go for it! Your prayers never fall on deaf ears no matter what they are. One of God’s promises is that He hears the prayers of His people (1 John 5:14-15). Pray, cry out to Lord; give Him your anxieties (because 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us). He can handle each and every cry, worry and tear. He wants them because He cares for you. Let Him have your uncertainties in exchange for His unwavering love.

2. Give Yourself Grace

From parent to parent … something I really feel you need to hear is (insert yelling emoji), “GIVE YOURSELF GRACE!” As parents, it is so easy to confuse our worth with what we accomplish. Let’s be honest here, we are in a very unusual circumstance. The majority of us were not prepared to homeschool and work, all while not allowing the ever-changing media updates to affect us. We can be so hard on ourselves. We’re tempted to feel guilty if, at the end of the day, we didn’t know all the answers, we didn’t clean every room in the house or if we used the TV to babysit our children for a show (or two). However, when we look throughout the Scriptures, we see that God pursues us in spite of how much we do or how perfect we do things. In fact, what we find is that God pursues us because of who we are to Him. Our worth is not measured by who we are, what we do or how much we do. Our worth is measured by Who’s we are. That’s it! Don’t believe me? Consider reading: Genesis 1:27 and Ephesians 1:5. Titus 3:4-5 (NIV) says, “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy…” Does this reminder mean we should binge-watch Netflix and let our children run wild? No, of course not. What this does mean is that even if our never-ending “To-Do” list never fully gets checked off, we are still worthy—because of Him. We don’t have to go to bed thinking we failed at being a parent, spouse, friend or human because we didn’t complete every task. We can go to bed content when we know the kindness and love of God. When we know Who’s we are, we realize we are a person who is worthy because our worth is in God.

3. Choose Joy

I know these circumstances are not ideal and there seems to be no end in sight. So when you have the opportunity, choose JOY! For my family it means it’s a movie and cuddles every night. Prior to this unprecedented event, cuddles and a movie were set aside for Fridays. However, now it seems like every night is Friday night! I know my girls will not want to cuddle with me forever, so I will use this time to cherish the cuddles. Choosing joy may look different for you and your family. Do what you need to provide stability in your home. If that means using YouTube to find a children’s exercise class so you can cook dinner, DO IT! Reach out to friends of different cultures for easy recipes so you can educate your children about other cultures. Teach your children new things that you enjoy and are interested in (sorry, math!). DO IT! Don’t forget to make time to read the Word, pray and check in with God. This is your foundation and lifeline. DO IT. Your joy is infectious to those around you. Your peace is an example to your children who see a scared world. Your soul is valuable. Taking care of yourself is not something to be ashamed of. Do what you have to do to make the best of this time. It may not look like the parent next door, and that’s okay! I know for me, if I do not take care of my soul, I am not the most pleasant mom to my girls. Even when I do, I still lose my patience. I had to learn and I’m still learning that doing something for myself is not something I need to feel guilty about. Making the best out this situation is not something you need to feel guilty about. If you feel you need to order a pizza because it will keep you from cooking with a bitter heart, order the pizza and be proud that you chose joy. I know your child will be, your spouse will be and God will be.

I pray these words bring you encouragement. Know that I am in your corner, cheering you on. YOU GOT THIS! We will make it through this, and hopefully, we create precious memories along the way. How incredible would it be for your children to look back on this time as a time of joy, where the family was together and having fun. With the grace and power of God at work in you, you can make it happen.

A fellow parent,
Lt. Willow Houseton

Download our PDF of three takeaways from this article to share with your friends and family.

Have you read other articles in this series? Titles include “To The Student…”, “To The High School/College Senior…”, “To The Fearful…” and “To The Onlooker.”

Look out for “To The Disheartened…” by Captain Harryette O’Brien coming
to you early next week!

Lt. Willow Houseton is a corps officer (pastor) for The Salvation Army. From a young girl, she fell in love with Jesus and strives daily to follow His calling. She is blessed with a wonderful husband and ministry partner (Captain Darell Houseton). Together, they raise two incredible daughters (Winter and Zion) who will change the world.