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When Bad Things Happen to Good People

Some days, you go through your life and think: “I am a good person, why is this happening to me?” By Captain Heather Needham
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Do you have days where you go through your life and think: “I am a good person, why is this happening to me?” Do you have days where something bad happens to your family and you think: “why is this happening to me?” “OK, God, the joke’s up … I can’t do this. Are you there, God? If you are, then why?”

Why Our Family?

I experienced this very thing in my life eight years ago. Everything was going great for my family. My husband and I were days away from welcoming our first baby. We were all excited and life was almost perfect. Then, on July 17,  2010, something happened. I was enjoying my day with friends. I had missed several calls on my cellphone—that was rather odd. I ended up getting a call from my brother telling me I had to call Mom now; he said that “Dad has cancer.” That very moment my world came crashing down. I immediately called my mom to get all the details. The details were slim. It was cancer and it was uncurable. I sat in disbelief that this was happening. Not to our family. Not to us. I couldn’t digest the news. Through my tears I couldn’t even cry out to God because the God I knew wouldn’t let this happen. The God I knew was bigger than cancer and I was going to wake up and this was all going to be over.

Well, the next morning I woke up. It wasn’t a joke—it was real. I was now going to watch my father walk through some of the hardest days of his life and I had to just sit by and watch. I couldn’t find the words to even speak to God. I felt alone. I would pull my Bible out and I was numb. People would speak to me and I would just cry, I just couldn’t understand why God could do this. One evening, the Lord spoke to me and simply said this, “Don’t put a question mark where I have put a period.” So, my dad has cancer. And that was that. I was to not challenge it; I was to accept it.

Why Not Our Family?

Then after the Lord challenged me, every time I wanted to really cry or get mad, I would remember that He told me not to put a question mark. Some days, this literally was happening every other minute. It would consume my thoughts. I had days where I said to God, “I know you have this, but I really don’t understand.” I opened my Bible one day to Nehemiah 8:10 and it said this, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

I realized I was grieving that this was happening. I was almost grieving a person who wasn’t dead. I thought, “OK God, I hear you.” My eyes were opened, and I went through life fully aware that there are people far worse off.

The Lord used my dad’s cancer to change our lives. We now had new chapters in our family’s testimony. What we did with our story could help others who were going through similar struggles. We saw life very different after his diagnosis. We really stepped back and thought what we should be doing in our lives. At that point in our lives we realized God was calling us to do something more. We realized ministry was where we needed to be and Officership was what God was calling us to do. All this came from our eyes being opened from my dad’s diagnosis.

Now I still had days when I wanted people to feel sorry for me and there were days when I still wanted to shake my fist at God. But I simply had to trust the period and not question it.

Simple Reminders

It is eight years later, and I am still watching my dad battle this disease. I still have days when I say this isn’t fair. I really have to take one day at a time. I ask the Lord every morning for strength to get through each day. Not, “Hey God, get me through this week.” I need help daily help to get through the tough days. Don’t give up on God when the days are hard. Those are the times you need Him the most.

If you are going through a hard time and you don’t get it, I promise you that you are not alone. Find someone to pray with you or talk with you. It’s never fun to watch hard times happen to our families. Remember you are never alone. Psalm 46:1 (NIV) says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” We may not understand everything He has for us, but remember to never question where He puts a period.

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