I’m writing this while on a road trip through the desert with my best friend of 12 years. The music is blasting, the windows are rolled down, and the mountains in the distance line both sides of this long, straight, endless road. I count the peaks on my right and am reminded that with every peak comes a dip in the view. If I’ve learned anything on this trip, it’s that mountains resemble friendships: they have peaks, valleys and good sunsets in between. 

Days like this feel blissful and remind me of how kind God is to give us good people. But I also remember days with friends who I thought would be here for the long haul, but later, quietly slipped out the back door of my life. Others announced their exit, leaving no room for discussion. No matter how they make their way out, it still hurts to know they are gone. 

The good news is that there’s actually someone who gets this. Jesus is intimately familiar with friendship and the unpredictable turns that come with it. 

Jesus’ Friendships

In Mark 5, we read about a handful of Jesus’ disciples. “He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly” (Mark 5:37-38, NIV). 

In this passage, Jesus is about to heal a little girl from death. That’s a pretty big miracle, but Jesus didn’t call for a crowd to gather. He didn’t even call for all of His disciples to come with Him. Instead, He brought the three disciples whom He was closest to. Just four chapters later, Jesus takes these same three disciples up to a mountaintop and shows them His true glory and prophets from the past who had died (Mark 9:1-13)! We see these names pop up over and over through the Gospels because while Jesus was never stingy with His love and never selective with His grace, He was always intentional.  

The selection of Jesus’ circle can help us see that we need intimate relationships—people who know us deeply! Even Jesus chose not to walk this life alone. It also shows that not everything we have is for everyone. Jesus led with vulnerability. He took the first step. Like the moment you’re on a date, and you’re waiting for the other person to be brave enough to scoot close to you or to grab your hand—Jesus did that. He made the first move. And if an all-powerful, all-knowing God would stuff His glory into a breakable human body and come down to live and laugh and cry with us, then we too can practice vulnerability. We also can be brave enough to invest in people, even when it doesn’t always go perfectly. Friendship didn’t go perfectly for Jesus either. 

The knife turn of betrayal has never felt good. 

When someone you thought had your back plays you…

When someone you shared something personal with leaks it to someone else… 

When someone walks out… 

These are some of the hardest moments of vulnerability, and often the reason many of us build walls. Sometimes it feels easier to keep people out than risk the hurt. 

But what if I told you Jesus knew someone—someone who loved Him—was going to hurt Him? In Luke 22, that’s exactly what happens. Meet Judas. 

Judas is not new to the story when we pick up in Luke 22. Judas was a disciple, one of Jesus’ selected 12. A good portion of Jesus’ time in the last three years of His life was spent with Judas. So, we can assume they knew each other pretty well. 

Luke 22:1-6 (NIV) says, “Now the Festival of Unleavened Bread, called the Passover, was approaching, and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were looking for some way to get rid of Jesus, for they were afraid of the people. Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve. And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. They were delighted and agreed to give him money. He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present.”  

In this history-making moment, Satan influences Judas to sell Jesus out. Judas decides to take a payout for Jesus’ life. What do we do with this? If Jesus’ friend betrayed Him, how can we stand a chance? 

It’s expected of the human heart to break. We are fallible. But it’s our privilege to forgive and love freely. Jesus is God and He clearly knew Judas would turn His back on Him. He even predicts it early in Scripture. That didn’t stop Him from investing in that relationship, and if we really take a step back, we can see how God’s sovereignty worked a betrayal into a miracle. 

When Judas sold out Jesus and sent Him to the cross, Judas didn’t realize that Jesus was about to pay for every sin, past and future. Jesus was about to make way for redemption, maybe even for Judas. 

The Ministry of Reconciliation

Christ, through His sacrifice, has given us the ministry of reconciliation, according to 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. This is what happened on the cross.

We were designed to have close, vulnerable and real friendships. We have been empowered to care for those friendships through reconciliation. That means that when our friends fail us, we have the strength to forgive them, not from ourselves but through Christ who strengthens us.  

I can’t say that the power to forgive means that every friendship lasts forever, but I do believe that God gives us the right people in the right seasons, and that we can trust Him when people exit stage left and when new unexpected characters pop onto the scene. 

As I ride down this road, with my best friend beside me and remembering friends from my past, I think about the truest friend I have. It’s in my friendship with Jesus where I’ve experienced the kindest side of vulnerability, and the most gracious reality of reconciliation. And it’s in Him that I can trust He’ll never walk away. 

That makes the rest of the road trip one to look forward to.

This article was originally titled “Road Trips” in the November 2024 issue of Peer.