One million young people are walking away from the faith every year in the United States. In 2023, that number is closer to 1.4 million. According to a study by Pinetops Foundation, by 2050, it is projected that 35 million youth raised in families that declare themselves Christian will walk away from faith in Jesus. Pew Research Center estimates that by 2050, less than 50 percent of the U.S. population will identify as Christian—the first time in the history of the United States (Modeling the Future of Religion in America, Pew Research Center September 2022). In Pew’s report, they wrote, “The visible rise of the unaffiliated might induce more and more young people to leave Christianity and further increase the ‘stickiness’ of an unaffiliated upbringing, so that fewer and fewer people raised without a religion would take on a religious identity at a later point in their lives.”

Yet just because things are headed in a particular direction, doesn’t mean we can’t do anything about it. As Christians, we believe that God can do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever imagine. The question is, will we join God in a good, holy, ancient and ordinary work? As Christians, we have a wonderful opportunity to share the love, power, grace and truth of Christ with others in a way that increases faith in an entire generation. 

I serve as the Executive Director of the TENx10 Collaboration, a youth discipleship initiative seeking to make faith matter more for 10 million young people for the next 10 years by working with denominations (like The Salvation Army!), networks, parachurch organizations (like Youth for Christ and Young Life) and training/resource organizations. Many Christian leaders in the U.S. are concerned about the state of faith for young people and want to make a difference, and the key to that is a Holy Spirit-empowered, collaborative effort, calling people to engage with relational discipleship radically focused on Jesus.

What is a Sticky Faith?

The “stickiness” of an unaffiliated faith can be countered by the “stickiness” (there is a great book called “Sticky Faith” that is worth reading!) of a vibrant faith that is displayed and demonstrated through relational discipleship. This is a type of discipleship that is more focused on people than programming, and as you may have guessed, relationships. 

So, what is relational discipleship that is radically focused on Jesus? It is discipleship that models the discipleship that Jesus practiced. It is a slow, interpersonally oriented, trusted discipleship process that never loses sight of God or the person whom God wants to reach through you. It is discipleship that includes transparency, vulnerability and an invitation into a mutual life together where the one being discipled can grow in their faith through a visible example that is strengthened by relationship. It is discipleship that takes place over meals, walks, errands, coffee/tea, serving together and mundane conversations. It is discipleship that says, “come and see” while also being committed to the “go and seek” nature of Christ’s ministry. It is discipleship that is not manufactured or fake, inauthentic or disingenuous. It is discipleship where the one who is discipling shows what it looks like to let Christ be all and in all, and to model what it looks like to walk as Jesus walked. 

It is not discipleship of a perfect person, but an imperfect person who is living fully surrendered to a perfect Christ. It is not discipleship that justifies hypocrisy—which happens to be one of the most significant reasons why young people are so disillusioned with Christianity and Christians. It is also not discipleship that simply says, “Follow me,” but discipleship that says, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” It is discipleship that through relationships, is made sticky.

A sticky faith is a palpable faith. It is a faith that can be seen and experienced—through relationship. It is a faith where a love for God and a love for others is clearly portrayed—through a relationship. A relationship is really what makes faith so sticky. A robust relationship with God and with other Christians contributes to a sticky faith because it makes faith visible. 

In a world where faith feels flimsy and a commitment to Jesus remains unpopular, it’s all the more important to strengthen one’s faith. At the same time, it’s important to remember that your faith must be placed in the right thing. It doesn’t matter how strong your faith is if the thing you place your faith in is weak. The best way to strengthen your faith? Place it in something strong (i.e., God) and then go public with it—especially in relationships. Few things solidify your faith more than making it a visible part of who you are. It also serves the world by showing what faith in Jesus amounts to.

The world is desperate for a visible faith. And faith is made visible in relationships. I recently spoke with a young woman who happens to be a pastor’s daughter. Many of you will know that pastor’s kids often face a heavy burden as they are often scrutinized in ways that other children are not and cannot escape the judgment and expectations placed on them by congregants of their parent’s church. She told me, “I love the mission of TENx10, it reminds me of my youth pastor who just spent a lot of time with me, showing me the love of Jesus and telling me that because Jesus loves her, she is able to love others—including me. She once said to me, ‘There is nothing you can do that could push me away. In the way Jesus stuck with me, I am sticking with you.’ And she meant it. It was life-changing for me.” This is at the heart of relational discipleship, and this is the type of discipleship that makes faith sticky.

What If I’m Not There Yet?

The good thing is, God likes to start exactly where you are. God doesn’t need you to be fully formed before He can use you. God forms those He calls—and uses them in the places they are. What you need to do is ask yourself, what are the things that help me cultivate my relationship with God and with others, and what hinders my relationship with God and with others? From there, you begin to focus on the things that help your relationship with God and others.

It’s important to note that you are going to have to carve out time. To grow in anything—and to grow anything—time is needed. In your relationship with God and with others (whether you are the one who is discipling or being discipled), you need to make time. Time displays your priorities and where you spend your time will communicate what you value. And when it comes to relational discipleship, time is one of the most important factors. If you understand the significance of relationship, you understand the significance of time needed to cultivate trust. If you understand the significance of discipleship, you understand that it is, as Eugene Peterson called it in his book, “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction,” a long obedience in the same direction. A sticky discipleship relationship is one that time is poured in, in ways that the outcomes are always trust and vulnerability. 

The world doesn’t need a slippery faith. It needs a sticky faith. It needs a faith that lasts and doesn’t fall apart. It needs a faith that connects and endures. In order to get there, we need to realize that it’s all about relationships—relationship with God and with others—and one that invests time. Time will tell whether enough of us are willing to walk with others in the ways we are walking with Jesus—or more importantly the ways Jesus is walking with us. May we cultivate a faith that sticks with others—as we show Jesus to them. 

For further study

Read:

• The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
• A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches by Martin Luther King Jr.
• Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman
• A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society by Eugene Peterson
• 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager: Making the Most of Your Conversations and Connections by Kara Powell and Brad Griffin
• Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church by Kara Powell, Jake Mulder and Brad Griffin
• Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids by Kara Powell and Chap Clark 
• A New Kind of Leader: What You Believe Can Open a Door for a Kid or Teenager’s Future by Reggie Joiner

Listen:

• Renovare Podcast: a place for honest conversations about interactive life with God, hosted by Nathan Foster. 
• Asian American Christian Collaborative (AACC) Reclaim Podcast

This article was originally titled “Stick or Slip” in the October 2023 issue of Peer.