According to research, 77 to 90 percent of teens have reported feeling or experiencing peer pressure. 

Peer pressure is when you feel the urge to do things because others are doing it. It’s great to have peers, but what happens when those peers are pressuring you—directly or indirectly—to live a life that doesn’t honor God? 

Why Peer Pressure Happens

Peer pressure occurs when we want to fit in. It happens when we fear rejection. It affects us subconsciously  when we’re more concerned about what people think about us than what God thinks about us. We feel peer pressure when we seek approval from others instead of from God. 

Peer pressure starts as a comparison. We look beyond our lives, look at others, and think they’re having fun and living life how they want to—but they aren’t living how God wants them to. 

It’s tempting to want to be “cool.” But I encourage you to want to be sanctified and pleasing to God. Stand out and be unique. 

The need to feel loved is at the heart of falling for peer pressure. We’ve all been there, but we know the answer is not to follow the crowd and live outside God’s will. The answer is in being right in the middle of God’s will! This can happen through prayer, reading God’s Word and choosing your friends wisely. 

How Can I Know It’s Peer Pressure?

Peer pressure can cause people to get involved in activities that do not please God. It can lead people to partying, alcohol, drugs and other morally objective behaviors. You should be avoidant of these behaviors to ensure you don’t fall for peer pressure. 

The TV shows and movies people watch can often shape their thoughts; for example, the clothes worn by TV show and movie characters reflect their thinking. If you have friends who dress like their favorite celebrity, the pressure might be on you to dress like that to fit in. But you don’t have to. 

Paul wrote, “I … want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God” (1 Timothy 2:9-10, NIV). 

Furthermore, you might feel pressure to be unkind to others for fun. Several of your peers may do this because they want to feel like they matter (although they already do, they just don’t see it yet or know it). They would do almost anything, if not everything, to fit in. You might, for instance, feel tempted to call people names or make fun of them because they are different, because they don’t look like you or because you don’t like them. You might feel pressured to do as your friends are doing. But you don’t have to. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking … Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:4-6, NIV).

So, How Do We Handle Peer Pressure?

How do you take it when your friends say, “Come on, let’s do this and that,” when the “this or that” doesn’t honor God? The Bible says you stay away from such activities. 

The Bible is straightforward about this in Proverbs 1:10 (ESV): “My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.”  

Reach out to your parents. Your parents could help you find strategies to not give in to peer pressure. Knowing a specific friend is pressuring you can help your parent set up boundaries or help you place healthy boundaries around that relationship. 

Refuse to give in. Refuse to give in only because you want to fit in. If those friends continue to pressure you, you’ll do yourself a favor by finding new friends who understand you and are willing and able to help you develop a closer walk with God.

Remember the Word of God. Let that be your guiding light. People often do things to be accepted. They think doing these things can fill a void that only God can. Don’t fall for peer pressure, the comparison trap or the desire to fit in. Instead, stay faithful to God, love Him and your neighbors as you love yourself, and your life will be a beautiful example to many people who want to follow Jesus Christ. 

While peer pressure can happen directly or indirectly, you don’t have to give in. You can stand firm and obey God’s Word in everything we do. God loves you and mandates you to love yourself and your neighbor. Giving in to peer pressure might seem “cool,” but it will not help you be the unique individual God has called you to be. So, decide today to say “no” to peer pressure, throw out the fear of man’s opinion and trust God. It’s in trusting God where you’ll be safe (Proverbs 29:25). 

This article was originally titled “Fitting In” in the October 2024 issue of Peer.