God has used my disability to glorify Himself, but not in a way that some people would expect. 

Many believe that God is glorified when people with disabilities are miraculously healed. Others believe that people with disabilities’ primary job is to inspire those without disabilities. My calling is to do something else entirely. 

Disability is Something I Can’t Control

Immediately after college, a new friend told me he had a vision that God would heal my cerebral palsy. We agreed to call each other on the phone one evening, and he played worship music and prayed that “God would cast the demon of cerebral palsy out of me.” 

“One thing you can try is repenting of any sin or unforgiveness,” he suggested. I tried to think of people I had not forgiven. One of my friend’s ex-boyfriends? I guess I needed healing. 

For months, I wrestled with shame, praying for God to heal me, more for my friend’s sake than my own. My friend texted me Bible verses and asked if I had made any progress on my healing. I desperately wanted to whisk my cerebral palsy away to become the powerful testimony my friend believed I was meant to be. Why weren’t my prayers being answered? Was God listening? Could I even call myself a Christian at all? 

One morning, as I was sitting before church service began, I reflected on the situation.

“It’s not like this is something I can control,” I thought.

“God wants to use the thing you can’t control,” the pastor began her sermon. Did she just read my mind, or did the Holy Spirit intervene?

The pastor spoke about Ehud, the left-handed judge, in Judges 3:15-21. Being left-handed was stigmatized in Ehud’s culture, and it certainly was something he couldn’t control. Still, because Ehud was left-handed, he could sneakily attack by plunging a sword into King Eglon’s stomach. Just like Ehud, I too am left-handed. I also have hemiparesis cerebral palsy, which affects my right side, and I face the stigma of living with a physical disability. The question was: How would God use the thing I couldn’t control? 

Disability is My Ministry

After hearing that God wanted to use the thing I can’t control, I turned to what Scripture said about disability to rebuild my own faith. I already knew 2 Corinthians 12:9 about Paul’s thorn in the flesh but discovered that the apostle Timothy also had a stomach issue, mentioned in 1 Timothy 5:23. Luke 14:12-14 addresses inviting those with disabilities into the kingdom of God, and Habakkuk 3:17-19 completely negates the prosperity gospel by giving an example of how we can worship God in less than ideal circumstances. 

For five years, I lived under my parents’ roof and took on internships and freelance opportunities. Eventually, I got a job at a secular-adapted sports nonprofit I had benefited from since childhood. I loved being involved in their adult programs and interacting with people I can relate to in accessible spaces, often online. However, most of those friends were non-believers. I struggled with feeling like I had to choose between the disability community and church community. Hanging out with church friends soon began to feel like a non-option because of  transportation difficulties, due to my disability. 

I shared this struggle with my pastor’s wife. She listened intently and showed a rare compassion on my unique struggles. Eventually, doors opened for me to be able to give a disability awareness presentation to leaders at my church and to lead a virtual small group for disabled people. I also got connected with other adults with disabilities who led their own ministries. One ministry is called “Even If,” a disability women’s ministry that hosts weekly online Bible stories, regular worship nights, a book club, and disability awareness presentations for churches.

Despite my unique challenges, I recall my favorite Bible verse, Romans 8:28, which says that God uses all things for my good and for His glory. Through my day job, God has surrounded me with a disability community—I am probably one of the few people who can say I have more disabled friends than able-bodied friends! Through my job and my experiences, I know disability culture. Because my experiences led to me to God’s word, I know how to encourage and disciple those with disabilities. God wastes nothing. I am grateful that God is using every detail of my life to reach this often-forgotten group. 

Encouragement for You

There may be something in your life that is challenging or hard for others to understand—it may be a disability or chronic illness, a life trauma, a sin struggle you’ve overcome, something your family has experienced, or a different situation entirely. How might God be able to use your experience to serve and encourage others? 

This article was originally titled “My Disability, My Ministry” in the March 2025 issue of Peer Magazine.