What I heard was not a sound, but a voice. A voice penetrating the muddy distractions of my mind and flowing into my heart. 

“I love you.” 

I did not know His love was current and close. I had thought He was up there, somewhere in the clouds. I could not see nor feel Him. 

But now, I heard Him.

I used to love God like I love my grandpa. I had never met him. He died before I was born. I hear stories, see old photos, and trust that he was a good man. That was who God was to me. 

The annual exchange I had with God was impersonal. I committed my life to God nearly every summer at camp figuring I had sinned in that past year and needed to secure my trip to heaven yet again. However wonderful it seemed, I was making a business deal with God. Little did I know that the assurance of heaven was not all there is to this faith stuff.

I was 15 years old when the exchange turned into a relationship. Heaven on earth. Hearing Him at first startled me. I did not think that God could speak to me. Then it turned into the biggest joy.

I told my friends and my parents, and wanted to tell the world, though I felt it was a secret the world would not understand. I treasured that moment with God and knew that my faith was not in vain.

God spoke to me once the next year, and twice the next. Then He spoke every few months. Times of pure delight to hear His voice once again mixed with times of silence and emptiness. He often reminded me of His promises and plans and led me to various Scripture passages I needed in those moments. I started keeping a journal for all the words He has spoken to me, but I have not written anything in it for over a year now. This is not because of God’s silence, but because of His consistency. I have freely conversed with God several times a week if not daily for the past year. 

How could I possibly record it all?

As I thirst for God and listen for Him, the relationship I have with Him grows stronger and healthier. I aim to keep God first, and when I am distracted, I remember God and run straight back to Him. May God outweigh everyone and everything in my life, even my hopes for heaven.

How my soul grieves those who long for heaven but not for God! Some people want to go to heaven because there is no more sickness or pain. Or maybe they want to be reunited with that beloved family member or close friend who passed. Or maybe they want to experience a sin-free world.

The thing about heaven is, it is where our relationship with God is made perfect. That is why I want to go to heaven. I will be fully with God. But my greater desire is to love God and keep growing in that relationship now. Having an intimate relationship with God right now is heaven on earth.

It can be such a pain to enjoy God while knowing others do not. And I cannot force them to. At times, I get emotional thinking about all the people who do not know God. They do not know what they are missing. Since consistently talking with God, I have more confidence and peace, and that is just the beginning. Before, I would anxiously try to control my circumstances while feeling alone and weak. Now, I give them over to God while trusting Him and excitedly watching and waiting for Him to move. God has changed my life for good. My desire is to tell others about God, to plant seeds of faith and love, and to watch God make them grow (1 Corinthians 3:6).

As an introvert, I enjoy writing down my thoughts to process them, but it can be difficult to share them. God may push me out of my comfort zone, enabling my timid shaky body to proclaim truth and love (Ephesians 4:15-16). If only I could do this all the time, but it is God in me doing the talking, not me. So here is our plea to you. Do not let this life pass you by without truly pursuing God. You must have confidence that He loves you and wants a deep relationship with you.

God wants a reciprocal relationship. Too many people believe they cannot or will not ever hear from God. Do you think God does not love you enough speak to you? He loves you so much that He lived as a humble human on earth and died an excruciating death, all for you (Romans 5:8). He did that to restore your relationship with Himself. Adam and Eve walked freely and daily with God before the fall. Thanks to Jesus, you can do the same.

Invite God to speak, then listen. Listen with your ears, eyes, minds, and hearts. Learn to dwell in Him little by little. In Jeremiah 29:14, the Lord says, “I will be found by you.” It may not be an inner voice. It may be a feeling, another person, a Bible verse, an event, a movie, an inanimate object, a dream, or literally anything else. God only needs Himself to communicate. And once He speaks, oh the love, grace, and peace that flows into the soul! We can all have an intimate relationship with God right now. 

Why wait until heaven?