Emma giggled, unable to contain her infectious excitement. “We’re talking,” she gushed about Gavin, a tall, dark-haired basketball player in the youth group. 

Dating terms have changed throughout the decades and come to mean different things. When you’ve reached your 50s, like me (Lisa), it’s hard to keep up. Our small group discussion took a brief detour; we compared what dating looks like now versus “back then.” They informed me that “talking” is the first step in getting to the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. People talk to each other every day; I wanted to understand the difference between talking and “talking.”  

 ”Talking” indicates conversation with a purpose. Chit-chat between friends and the kind of talking that builds a relationship mean different things. “Talking” eases you into dating life and is widely recognized as the first step to building a deeper relationship. 

Prayer means talking to God to build a deeper relationship with Him. Prayer matters and holds significance. It’s a conversation with a purpose. We struggle to have a good relationship with anyone without intentionally talking to them. However, we still want God to bless us and answer our prayers, even without deep conversation.  

Prayer holds incredible power. Through it, you can get to know and build a deep relationship with the Creator of the Universe, the Maker of all humanity. The more you talk to Him and learn how to pray effectively, the more powerful your prayers become due to that relationship. Even when you see a situation you cannot control, you “talk” with the One who does. 

Have you ever struggled with prayer? Even though it’s just talking, does it seem complicated to do and easy to take for granted? Why do we struggle to speak with, hear and rely on God?  

Satan knows the power of prayer, too—his mission is complete if he can get you disinterested or distracted, and keep you from building that relationship. The weaker your prayer life, the more Satan triumphs in your sleepy complacency. The struggle to pray proves that you have power when connected with God. Satan doesn’t want you empowered through prayer; he wars against you.  

The more we learn and fight back, the better equipped we are to take prayer beyond chit-chat and talk to God sincerely. God’s interest lies in a person’s heart condition and obedience more than in prayer for the sake of a mindless routine. 

God chose David and anointed him as Israel’s future king because of his heart submission (1 Samuel 16:7). He established a deep talking relationship with God in his youth. He learned to trust God’s provision and protection and swiftly obeyed His commands. 

David grew close to the Lord as a youth tending sheep and learned to hear and follow His voice. We see that though David made his own decisions, he talked to God first and listened to God’s direction before he made any moves. 

David continually sought the Lord for his wisdom and protection throughout his life. David allowed God to lead his steps rather than following his agenda of self-preservation. As a sinful human being, David fell in highly catastrophic ways many times. But he remained close to God, talking to Him and asking forgiveness for the times he fell. 

The book of Psalms abounds with beautiful insights into the ups and downs of David’s relationship with God. David danced in the streets before the Lord in joy and praise; he lamented the times he felt lost in sin and felt far from God. Yet God called David a man after His own heart because David’s life reflected submission and obedience to Him. David sets the standard for the attitude of the heart that God desires. 

God cares more about our character than our appearance or efforts to impress others. 1 Samuel 16:7b (NIV) says, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  Our inner character develops in proportion to the quality of our talking with God. 

Throughout Scripture, to be called a man or woman after God’s heart, one must submit to Him and obey whatever He asks. We choose daily to follow God’s direction by cultivating conversation with Him. Why He asks us to do certain things may mystify us at times. Despite our sinful nature, God redeems and uses those whose hearts are submitted to Him in faith and repentance. By understanding and following God’s expectations for His people as woven throughout the grand story of the Bible, we understand what it means to be a man or woman after God’s heart by talking to Him.