People are phenomenal, but it is easy for me to overlook it.

Let me share a story with you that has changed the way I interact with the people I work with and serve. One Friday, I learned that Bindu, one of our employees at the Chick-fil-A store in Canton, had an accident while preparing lettuce. A salad spinner that slipped out of her hands while preparing lettuce struck her in her right eye. The next day, when I walked into the kitchen, I was surprised to see Bindu hard at work, scrambling eggs and making fruit cups for a busy Saturday morning. She mentioned that once she finished her work, she planned to see a doctor about her eye. I offered to take her to the hospital right away, but she repeated what she had told everyone: “My first priority is to work.” Despite her swollen black eye, the handcrafting of the bouquet of vibrant fresh strawberries, blueberries, and apples for a guest took priority over her injury. I was in awe of her dedication to her work and was mesmerized by her follow-up comment, “Kevin, I love my job and am so thankful for this place.”

What I have learned about the smiling, kind Bindu over the years is not noticeable at first glance. She was a housewife whose husband owned a successful gas station and convenience store. She had moved from India with her family and was on an incredible journey in the United States. However, one evening in September 2012 at 9 p.m., her life was changed in an instant. She was on the way home from Jacksonville, FL, with her young son and daughter, as well as her mother-in-law and sister-in-law and was only a mile and a half from home. Her husband, who was driving, started coughing, and suddenly his head slumped over — he had a heart attack causing the car to run off the road, and flip multiple times. 

Her husband and sister-in-law died on impact from head injuries. Bindu was not involved in her family business, she was not a U.S. citizen, and did not know how to drive. When I met Bindu, she had just moved to our town which was closer to family who were able to help her raise her children. Through tears, she explained how she learned to be tough and resilient. “It is a part of life, Kevin,” she explained. “No one can replace my lost family members, but I have to move on for me and my family. Everyone has hard and soft times. Ups and downs.” 

To me — and to her children — Bindu is a hero. You won’t find her story on the news or social media, but she is resilient and a true inspiration. This is simply what drives us — in business and in everyday life — to discover the phenomenal and unexpected people and opportunities that are placed in life and inspire to propel us forward. People like Bindu can easily be unnoticed if we don’t pause and take the time to look. 

Why do I share Bindu’s story? Because I have learned that we often overlook the gift and importance of self-kindness by not taking time to look around us. In the chaos life brings, it is easy to overlook moments and miss people that could encourage us along our journey. We just have to take the time to see their stories.

Just like it is easy to miss the incredible story behind Bindu, it is easy to miss the beautiful story of customers, friends, strangers, cashiers, hotel cleaners, construction workers and even our own children. This is not to say we have to know everyone, but to acknowledge that there is an opportunity to be kind by taking the time to notice those around us.

I wrote a book about this way of seeing the world and us called “Irrational Kindness.” “Irrational Kindness” is a commitment to choosing the kindness perspective, even when it seems illogical or difficult. It’s about recognizing the humanity in every situation, and acting with compassion and generosity, even when our instincts might tell us otherwise.

One habit we can grow is to give ourselves a “kindness pause.” This is a chance to stop for a minute, grab a pen and paper and look at life, a situation, a habit, in a fresh way to discover new things. For example, we encourage our team to pull up a chair in the kitchen. Yes, a real chair, and sit right into the middle of the kitchen. They soon start to see great things that we should celebrate and opportunities that need to be paid attention to. One critical part of a kindness pause is to write these moments down, so they will not be lost, and then empower these little moments to guide our next steps.

When “pulling up a chair,” it’s critical that we become observers and discoverers, as if this is the first time we have ever seen the things or people right in front of us. We do not get caught up in the great or terrible things we see, but rather we sit in curiosity and pencil down the realities. These realities of what you see will tell you where you are in the present and shine a light on your next steps. You will discover a system, habit, or standard that needs to be clearer. You may discover someone to praise or someone you need to walk alongside. You may discover your own Bindu, whose joy radiates and encourages you to learn more of their story. 

This practice of “pulling up a chair” works in all areas of life as you develop the skills of a discoverer. Look at how you come home from work or school. What do you do when you first walk through the door at home? Your actions with your phone, the words you speak, or your tone — observe your actions but don’t judge yourself. You are giving yourself irrationally kind information to grow as a person. Take a second and put a pencil to paper and observe different areas of your life.  

Pull up a chair for a small kindness pause in the areas of life you want to grow such as relationships, finances, and faith. You may see an opportunity to stop something, like less Netflix or social media, and add gratitude journaling or devotion before sleep. You may decide to quit spending time with folks who are not adding positive value in your life and join a small group or explore a new hobby. You might meet amazing people like customers to serve with more hospitality in new ways. Or a new habit when walking through the door after work to cut your phone off for two hours to be present and connect positively to family and friends.  

Consider this permission to stop and look up, pull up a chair and anticipate being surprised by fresh curiosity and the clarity you gain for your next steps.

This article was originally titled “Reservation Kindness” in the Summer 2025 issue of Peer.